Why do we work?
To earn a living?
For something else?
For something more?
I am at work. And I am feeling restless.
No, I am not blogging during working hours. It is lunchtime. And since I’m not hungry, I might as well substitute physical for psychological nourishment.
There is a lot of change happening at work. I am not going to go into details. Suffice to know that the change is resulting in conflicting interests between me and a third party, as well as conflicting priorities for me, internally.
Both conflicts are resolvable, and I’m sure by tomorrow, or the day after at the latest, I will have gone one way or another. In the meantime, though, trying to resolve them has led me to ask the question: why do I work?
Sure, it is partly for money. But the fact that these conflicts are arising at all has made me realise that money is only part of the picture. If I were really in this for the money, my path of action would be clear. And I wouldn’t be feeling undecided, or restless.
It is quite difficult to write about this without giving away details. I’ll take it as a challenge. After all, most things seem impossible until they’re done – that’s what many people say, isn’t it? And I am inclined to agree.
The funny thing is, I didn’t take this job for the money. Nor for connections or experience. Of course, they were relevant factors, but neither was decisive. I took this job so I’d have something to do besides revision. Experience suggests that I revise better when I have a part-time job. This could be due to increased pressure to time-manage. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think it’s the impact of the part-time job on my lifestyle overall.
Having a job forces me to get out of the house, be up and about. And this active energy spills over into my non-working days. And that leads to more efficient revision. Also, I am happier when leading a balanced life. Dividing my week between home and work makes balancing my life easier than spending it all at home.
One Week Later
I’ve made up my mind: I’m going to stop working.
I made the decision this morning. And with the decision comes part of my answer to the question I asked myself one week earlier: why do I work?
I now know I do not work for money, nor for distraction. I work to build the life I want for myself. And this is not the life I want for myself.
Not this job. Not this lifestyle. Not hurrying from one place to another. Not worrying all the time about the revision I have no time for.
I said a few days ago I was going on hiatus from this blog. I hereby revoke the hiatus.
Because the life I want for myself has writing in it. A life without writing is not for me. And since this job prevents me from writing (one only has so many hours in a day), it clearly isn’t contributing toward making the life I want for myself.
So there’s my answer. And boy, am I glad I got there in the end.
So I guess you’ll be seeing more of me in the coming weeks.
Yours, as ever,